Tapestries

Description: Nothing like a profound piece of Aussie philosophy.. and the odd can or two..

Description: It turns out that all you need for quite during the footy is AAA batteries. This must be the top of the range model remote with 'UNIVERSAL MUTE' that works on everything!

Description: This guy is the brightest we've got. Lucky we didn't ask him to dig 20 holes.. Not deep enough.. Dig another one!

Description: This guy takes whatever he can get, as long as it's from his chair. Taking it easy is his cardio, his 'only' cardio.

Description: When the brochure said 'Unique Australian Swimming Experience', they weren't lying, swim between the flags mate, lol..

Description: Error 0xDEAD: battery not found, dignity not found, switched to low power mode, and low personality mode.

Description: They wanted a sweet little Grandma, but the 'golden years' came with extra 'gold', and extra 'vodka', hold my wine, hold my cigar, and, hold my standards.

Description: What can we say, we've all been there..

Description: Some people have a 'corner office', but this one is thinking outside the 'box', the first remote worker to close a deal 'mid-dump', the bathroom is the new boardroom.

Description: I'm just adjusting the mood lighting dear...

Description: He's old enough to know better, young enough not to care, proof that 'feeling young' is a contact sport, and he's feeling young, 'literally'.

Description: Old enough to know better, too old to care, calories don't count after 60, neither do other people's opinions, world's greatest old bastard.

Description: Bonza drop mate, came for the leaves, stayed for the larger, she'll be right after one more can.

Description: Bonza brew mate, not hopping mad, just hopping thirsty, fair dinkum true blue cobber.

Description: Nowhere in Australia, we looked in every pub, every bar, every beer garden, every bottle shop, nothing.

Description: My roll in life matters, so does the 'ply', roll with the punches, never leave a 'seat' without it, truly a 'high roller'.

Description: We asked for a horse, but Sales, Legal, Marketing, and Engineering, all had a veto and feature request, so the committee delivered this, classic.

Description: Daggy isn’t a phase mate, it’s a lifestyle, peak performance: 1987, peak fashion: never, he didn’t choose the daggy life, the daggy life chose him, and he never left.

Description: A 'hard earned' thirst meets the 'hard earned' second can, first beer: responsible, second beer: Australian, more beers, downright Australian, a true patriot.

Description: The original GOAT ASS HOLE, graduated top of his class, proudest moment of a very consistent career, Certification awarded upon continuous demonstration of the skill, he didn’t earn it, he was it.

Description: He said 'I Do' without a lawyer, convicted of leaving the toilet seat up 16 years ago, good behavior does not reduce the sentence, his cellmate is the dog, but the dog has more privileges.

Description: All 'original' parts, comes with extra 'spare tyre', documented history, some parts hardly used, looks old, runs modern, but does needs extra warm up.

Description: This knight is truly riding 'hard', and she knows this will be a 'knight' to remember, he is one of the knights of the 'round bed', and the one and only 'overnight knight'.

Description: WARNING: Handle with extreme care at 'full' capacity, possible 'Radioactive Meltdown' if pushed beyond safe limits.

Description: That's not a hug, that's quality control, a 'hands on' stock take, and the 'count' is an 'exact' handful.

Description: Fully licensed, no longer a learner, ready to get right into it 'face first', night-shift, no breaks.

Description: Help ‘spread’ the 'word' and she’s already doing her bit to ‘widely’ distribute it... where grammar is optional and 'legs' are 'mandatory'.

Description: Life is 'literally' a drag for this 'well-grounded' guy who is sick of being told to 'hang in there'...

Description: When you hear the Crow call.. it reminds you of those little moments like.. when your partner says 'We need to talk', or when that innocent Fart turns into a Shart, or just FARK!, that escalated quickly.

Description: My self-esteem isn't just high, it has its own frequent flyer program and I don't suffer from arrogance, I enjoy every minute of it.

Description: My therapist calls this "coping"... I call it Tuesday, 100% baked, 0% productive, and officially too relaxed to care.

Description: Forget the corner office, the porcelain office is where the real work gets done.. proof that some people really do give a crap about their job.

Description: Welcome to our naughtyslogans.com logo.. wear it with pride and attitude.