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Description: This guy is the brightest we've got. Lucky we didn't ask him to dig 20 holes.. Not deep enough.. Dig another one!

Description: This guy takes whatever he can get, as long as it's from his chair. Taking it easy is his cardio, his 'only' cardio.

Description: When the brochure said 'Unique Australian Swimming Experience', they weren't lying, swim between the flags mate, lol..

Description: Error 0xDEAD: battery not found, dignity not found, switched to low power mode, and low personality mode.

Description: They wanted a sweet little Grandma, but the 'golden years' came with extra 'gold', and extra 'vodka', hold my wine, hold my cigar, and, hold my standards.

Description: What can we say, we've all been there..

Description: Some people have a 'corner office', but this one is thinking outside the 'box', the first remote worker to close a deal 'mid-dump', the bathroom is the new boardroom.

Description: I'm just adjusting the mood lighting dear...

Description: He's old enough to know better, young enough not to care, proof that 'feeling young' is a contact sport, and he's feeling young, 'literally'.

Description: Old enough to know better, too old to care, calories don't count after 60, neither do other people's opinions, world's greatest old bastard.

Description: Bonza drop mate, came for the leaves, stayed for the larger, she'll be right after one more can.

Description: Bonza brew mate, not hopping mad, just hopping thirsty, fair dinkum true blue cobber.

Description: Nowhere in Australia, we looked in every pub, every bar, every beer garden, every bottle shop, nothing.

Description: My roll in life matters, so does the 'ply', roll with the punches, never leave a 'seat' without it, truly a 'high roller'.

Description: We asked for a horse, but Sales, Legal, Marketing, and Engineering, all had a veto and feature request, so the committee delivered this, classic.

Description: Daggy isn’t a phase mate, it’s a lifestyle, peak performance: 1987, peak fashion: never, he didn’t choose the daggy life, the daggy life chose him, and he never left.

Description: A 'hard earned' thirst meets the 'hard earned' second can, first beer: responsible, second beer: Australian, more beers, downright Australian, a true patriot.

Description: The original GOAT ASS HOLE, graduated top of his class, proudest moment of a very consistent career, Certification awarded upon continuous demonstration of the skill, he didn’t earn it, he was it.

Description: He said 'I Do' without a lawyer, convicted of leaving the toilet seat up 16 years ago, good behavior does not reduce the sentence, his cellmate is the dog, but the dog has more privileges.

Description: All 'original' parts, comes with extra 'spare tyre', documented history, some parts hardly used, looks old, runs modern, but does needs extra warm up.

Description: This knight is truly riding 'hard', and she knows this will be a 'knight' to remember, he is one of the knights of the 'round bed', and the one and only 'overnight knight'.

Description: WARNING: Handle with extreme care at 'full' capacity, possible 'Radioactive Meltdown' if pushed beyond safe limits.

Description: That's not a hug, that's quality control, a 'hands on' stock take, and the 'count' is an 'exact' handful.

Description: Fully licensed, no longer a learner, ready to get right into it 'face first', night-shift, no breaks.

Description: Help ‘spread’ the 'word' and she’s already doing her bit to ‘widely’ distribute it... where grammar is optional and 'legs' are 'mandatory'.

Description: Life is 'literally' a drag for this 'well-grounded' guy who is sick of being told to 'hang in there'...

Description: When you hear the Crow call.. it reminds you of those little moments like.. when your partner says 'We need to talk', or when that innocent Fart turns into a Shart, or just FARK!, that escalated quickly.

Description: My self-esteem isn't just high, it has its own frequent flyer program and I don't suffer from arrogance, I enjoy every minute of it.

Description: My therapist calls this "coping"... I call it Tuesday, 100% baked, 0% productive, and officially too relaxed to care.

Description: Forget the corner office, the porcelain office is where the real work gets done.. proof that some people really do give a crap about their job.

Description: Welcome to our naughtyslogans.com logo.. wear it with pride and attitude.